I’m Now A Statistic
It’s official. I’m a statistic. A number. One of many. I am now living with breast cancer. I’ve told everyone because I need that support and understanding now. But I haven’t told my son. My goofy, loving, adventurous soon to be 14, ready to drive NOW son. I’m the only parent he has ever had. I’m sure he will be the only one from now on because let’s face it, a bald woman with one breast doesn’t attract too many suitors. Upon hearing the news, the first thing I thought of was “Is my son ready?” My daughter will be 3 next month and if I pass away soon, she won’t remember much of me, so you can understand my concern for my son. Two boys he knows, who are brothers, play with him on the football team. Their mom has had brain cancer for about 2 years now. My son felt awful for them. He was shocked at how involved their mom was in football even with the effects of chemo. These boys, though, still argued with their mom and acted as if everything was normal. Which, to them, their mom was still around so everything WAS normal. Our kids are a lot tougher than we give them credit for.
So, I have some plans for the next 2 to 3 years. All involve money so I really need to either get a raise, win the lottery or get BPC into self-sufficiency.
1. Take the kids to Disney (what else did you expect?)
2. Visit Jerusalem.
3. Visit the islands and try parasailing (yeah, I know I can’t swim, shhh.)
4. Find a good man ready to take care of my kids after I’m gone. (This is about my dreams, remember?)
on November 26th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Fight. Fight hard and be strong for your kids. (((hugs))) to you
on November 26th, 2008 at 5:01 pm
I’m so sorry to hear you have to go through this. Remain strong. Also, as you said, kids are tougher than we give them credit for, so your son may actually become your best advocate, your shelter in the rain- if you will. Stay strong, sister. Breast Cancer has one of the better survival rates, especially if you’ve found it early. You’re in my prayers.
on November 26th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
I’m so sorry, but you have to remember that cancer is not a death sentence. I’ve watched 4 people in my husband’s family face cancer & all are in remission.
I wish you only the best, remember, this is not an end.
on November 26th, 2008 at 7:35 pm
I will keep you in my prayers. It’s ok to lean on friends and family during this time. Remember to smile, laugh and cry. God will see you through this trying time. Just keep the FAITH. It can do wonders, it has surely done wonders in my life. When I see no way, GOD reminds me their is a way. Never give up!
Blessings…..
-Teresa
on November 26th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
I am so very sorry to hear the news. I was shocked, really. I can’t even imagine how devasted you are, but Joede, you are a strong woman. I realize that there may be some tough days ahead, but keep that positive energy, your sense of humor, and the love of friends & family around you. I believe that your will and determination will overpower this thing!! Lots of hugs & prayers…xo
on November 26th, 2008 at 7:55 pm
You may be a statistic. Join the club. We all fit somewhere. But you are more than a statistic. You are a strong, vibrant, intelligent, caring human being who is also a mother. Not just a statistic. Look at Rene Syler, former co-host at Good Morning America. She was fired from her job just weeks before announcing that she had enough boob problems to have a double mastectomy even without being diagnosed with cancer. Then she wrote a book. She’s beautiful, vibrant, very sexy and strong. Just like you. So if you want to consider yourself a statistic, don’t forget to include those things too. You are not cancer. You are not your boobs. You are Joede and we love you for that. You are in my prayers. If I can do anything else, please let me know. Peace.
on November 26th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
Ooops, Rene Syler was at The Early Show, not Good Morning America.
on November 26th, 2008 at 8:40 pm
Oh, no! I’m so sorry to hear your news.
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a successful fight against the nasty cancer beast and that you’ll be able to achieve your goals.
on November 28th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
Thank you all so much for your kind words and encouragement. I truly don’t know what to say.
on December 1st, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Im sad to hear the news but your a fighter and it aint over yet. Do what you need to do to be here for your family.
Stay strong sis!
on December 3rd, 2008 at 8:21 pm
My son was 11 when I had to tell him and I had the same thoughts as you. I too have one ‘real’ breast and the other is the one God gifted a doctor to build for me using the muscle and fat from my belly. That one is mine too. Breast cancer taught me 2 things, that it’s survivable,I did, and that it’s not, my mother died one year after I was diagnosed and was into my recovery. Your list is touching and realistic. I applaud you for standing in the space of laughter, concern and love and taking ahold of your attitude for you and your children’s sake. If you’d like to chat I am available. Reach me at 202-321-0779.
Peace & healing to you,
Denise
on December 3rd, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Wow, Denise. I’m sorry on the loss of your mom. I’m sure that was and still is difficult.
I hope you know giving me your number is going to cause you to have astronomical phone bills! I have so many questions, especially as a single, vibrant, crazy woman! Hair (does it really grow back thicker), does the “other” breast feel/look different? Is the pain that bad? Is the pain only during chemo or just whenever? I told you! LOL
on December 4th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
Joede,
I pray a miracle occurs, and that you and your family will survive this.
TurquoizBlue
on December 15th, 2008 at 1:10 am
Joede, as long as you are alive and believe you will never be a statistic. Statistics are static snapshots of life. You are very much alive.